There’s a lot of talk around self care, self respect, self worth, self love…but how do you get there?
- Choosing to stay in and take a candle-lit bubble bath
- Buying yourself flowers
- Conversing with nature
- Positive affirmations
- Speaking up for yourself
- Saying “No”
- Saying “Yes”
- Leaving the toxic relationship (friendship, romantic) or job
- Asking for a raise
- Charging what you’re worth
These things feel good in the moment, but feelings and moments are as fleeting as the colors of the wind Pocahontas painted with. So how do you wake up sustainably happy and in love with your self and your life for the long run? How do you break out of the self judgment, self deprecation, self hatred that might be cycling just below the surface of the above activities? How do you get there?
If you look a little deeper, “self” is in every one of these positive or negative actions. So rather than think about it as a destination out there, what if it’s all inside, right here?
Our participation in life is our sole responsibility—what you put in, you get out.
It’s hard to make a leap to the other side of the rainbow when you’re still shackled in guilt and shame for things you have/n’t done or said yesterday …or 12 years ago. But the grass is only greener—or to stick with the rainbow, the colors are a little brighter—over there because you are standing in self-prescribed malnourishment—which to our defense as humans, often acts out from a blind spot of unresolved pain or trauma.
While sometimes going through the motions can eventually produce the desired feeling, it’s the courageous b-line to a heavy-hitter root issue that could be the most effective, transformative, and life-changing. Like the first domino that takes the rest out, you could also–instead of toiling over issues, cause and effect, the who, what, when, where, why, how of life events that leave an impact–go straight to forgiveness…self-forgiveness.
It’s easier to forgive others, but how often do you say you’re sorry to your self, forgive yourself? I’d venture to say self-forgiveness hardly crosses most minds, albeit hearts. But self-forgiveness is the key to the shackles! It’s the medicine to the malnourishment! It’s the Arthur to the excalibur causing most underlying and continued pain!
Choosing to allow lower vibrational feelings like guilt and shame to pass and forgiving yourself for mistakes you’ve made both with others and yourself, makes space for both peace and love to come in …and stay.
Interested in diving deeper into this in a safe container of compassionate support? The Forgiveness to Love workshop will be offered soon. Shoot me an email with Forgiveness to Love in the subject line to be added to the workshop interest list.
Photo credit: Shaun Gillen